“Wendy and I had been through everything together for so long. We knew we’d continue facing everything as a team.”
Devoted Husband And Dad Makes Memories With The Woman He Loves
ABOUT PAUL, IN HIS OWN WORDS:
- Wendy and I were junior high school sweethearts.
- We face everything head-on as a team.
- I’m grateful for the support of our family and close friends following her HR+/HER2- mBC diagnosis.
- I enjoy being in nature, fishing, and hiking when I need time to reflect.
My Story
The first time I saw Wendy, I was 11 years old. She was in the 6th grade and had moved to my block. It sounds cliché, but I was enamored with her from the moment I saw her. We became junior high school sweethearts before going our separate ways. But I always had a feeling that one day we would come back to each other.
Our paths crossed again a few years after high school. By then, we each had a child and happened to be living near each other. Things evolved from there, and it’s a good thing they did because, once I got to know her daughter, I was never letting Wendy go.
Wendy has been taking care of me like I was one of her children for decades now. We’ve raised three incredible children together, traveled all over the place, and put in the work to make our marriage last. So, when Wendy was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (mBC), I knew I needed to be strong—for her, for our children, and for myself too.
When Cancer Came Knocking On Our Door
Wendy’s original diagnosis was not metastatic. Her doctor found something questionable on a mammogram at a routine checkup. One biopsy later, the doctor discovered that Wendy had a tumor in her left breast. She was diagnosed with stage I breast cancer.
I’m not an optimistic person. I usually take the bad before the good, but for Wendy, I try and keep an even keel. At the time of Wendy’s diagnosis, our children were mostly grown, so we shared the news with them, read the literature her doctor gave us, and took things one day at a time. Our close friends and family were supportive, but talking about Wendy’s diagnosis with others was difficult. Helping her get through those kinds of conversations was emotionally tough for me.
I didn’t know much about breast cancer before it touched our lives and came into our household. I had seen the breast cancer awareness walks and heard about people being diagnosed, but after Wendy’s diagnosis, I think about it every day of my life. Any cancer diagnosis will change the way you think about life and change your priorities.
I made a point to go to most appointments with Wendy, and I’m proud to say that Wendy faced everything head-on as she always does. She is my hero. I’ve told her a few times that, if I was faced with something like what she was going through, I would’ve been curled up in a corner somewhere feeling sorry for myself. But not Wendy.
Her healthcare team was supportive and informative, and Wendy did her research as well, visiting different websites and support groups online. I learned as I went—asking questions when I didn’t understand something and doing my own research as needed. Wendy and I are open with each other, and we communicate about everything. This was especially true when Wendy was first diagnosed.
If I ever needed time to myself to reflect, I would go to the campground where I keep my trailer and go fishing or hiking. I enjoy being alone in nature with my own thoughts, but sometimes my brother would join me, parking his camper next to mine. It’s nice because nothing and no one can bother me out in the woods.
It Wasn’t Just A Broken Bone
Eventually, Wendy made it through her radiation treatments, and things were good for a few years. She continued having regular checkups with her doctor, and her scans were good.
But you remember how I said I’m not optimistic? A tiny place inside me was waiting for the other shoe to drop—waiting for Wendy’s cancer to come back. We continued living our lives together, taking trips to the beach, spending time with friends, and occasionally, doing things apart from one another because that’s how it works between us. And then, one evening, Wendy took a nasty spill down the stairs. We could see right away that her leg was shattered. She suffered a compound fracture to her tibia, fractured her fibula, and broke her ankle.
At the hospital, the doctors did a CT scan and found an oddity. There was a spot on her right hip that hadn’t been there 10 months before, so the doctors recommended a biopsy. When the results were in, Wendy’s oncologist told us that the cancer was back and had spread to Wendy’s hip and one of her ribs. She was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer.
Every Moment Means More Now
My worst fears were realized. It was terrifying, but I didn’t want Wendy to see what I was feeling. Wendy and I had been through everything together for so long. We knew we’d continue facing everything as a team. Still, I wasn’t the one diagnosed with cancer. I wasn’t the one going through treatment. So, I tried my best to be there for her and help as much as I could. Wendy couldn’t move for months after she broke her leg, so I took time off work to help her and to keep things in order around the house. Even after Wendy’s leg healed, my boss was supportive and let me go to Wendy’s appointments.
Since we received her metastatic diagnosis, Wendy and I have tried to keep our routines as normal as possible, but dealing with everything has been emotionally challenging. Wendy’s cancer never leaves my mind, but no matter what I’m feeling, I’m optimistic for Wendy. I see what she needs at any moment and jump in to be by her side and do what she needs me to do.
Now, more than ever, each moment means everything to us. It makes things a little easier because certain aspects of life that used to feel important to us in the early years of our marriage aren’t that big of a deal now in the grand scheme of things. We don’t argue as much because it isn’t worth it. The future we’ve spent preparing our lives for is happening now, so we’re going to make the most of it and spend every minute we can together. We’re facing everything head-on—always.
Starting Treatment With IBRANCE Combination Therapy For HR+/HER2- mBC
Thankfully, Wendy has an oncologist who is straightforward. When she told us about IBRANCE, an oral medication for adult patients with HR+/HER2- metastatic breast cancer when taken in combination with an aromatase inhibitor, we discussed the benefits and risks of IBRANCE, including serious and common side effects. After learning about IBRANCE combination therapy, we did some research before Wendy and her doctor decided that it was a good option. As I may have mentioned, I’m not the most optimistic person, so I was bracing for the worst.
After starting IBRANCE, Wendy has experienced side effects, including a low white blood cell count, fatigue, and some hair loss, so her doctor reduced her dose and continues to monitor her white blood cell count. For the most part, things have turned out better than we expected. Of course, this is her experience, and everyone is different. Other patients may experience serious or common side effects, such as lung problems or infections.
Please see Important Safety Information here.
Treasuring Time Spent Together
Wendy has good days, but sometimes her fatigue takes over. Usually, Wendy will tell me when she’s having a tough time, but I can tell when it’s a bad day by looking at her, even when she tries to put on a brave face for the people around her. Still, she tries to keep busy, cleaning the house, taking care of her family, myself included, and helping other people through their own journey with cancer when she feels up to it.
Wendy wakes up every day hoping to show others that metastatic breast cancer doesn’t have to define them. She looks her diagnosis right in the eye and doesn’t look for anybody to feel sorry for her. I am so proud of her.
Even through this difficult journey, Wendy and I have many things to be thankful for. We have each other and our incredible children, wonderful grandchildren, supportive family members, and close friends. Finding people to lean on and an informative healthcare team is crucial. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, so we take advantage of the time we have now. We don’t talk about the things we want to do together; we make the plans and do them.
She Amazes Me Every Day
Wendy shows me every day that each day is what you make it. She’s constantly finding new ways to amaze me. And though this isn’t where we thought we would be at this point in our lives, we are making the most of it. And I’m spending every minute that I can making memories with the woman I love.
Without Wendy in my life, I probably wouldn’t have made it this far. I wouldn’t be standing here in front of you today, sharing my story. She is my person, and she’s been my person since junior high school. I will always support her through the good and bad days, no matter what.
Ambassadors were asked to share their personal stories about IBRANCE. All content was accurate at the time of publication and is assessed periodically for accuracy.
Paul (Wendy’s Husband)
CAREGIVER AMBASSADOR
Paul and Wendy have raised a family together, traveled all over the place, and put in the work to make their marriage last. So, when Wendy was diagnosed with HR+/HER2- metastatic breast cancer, Paul knew that he needed to be strong for her, their children, and himself too.